things i have learned in life!

u will always think the grass would be greener somewhere else, with more, with this or that or this person, be happy where you are. be happy with your life in your now.

your present isn’t free if you are mentally not here. if you’re carrying weight from the past like grief regret resentment any of it, or if you are thinking in circles about a future u have no control over.

when the future comes it arrives as the present,

just be here and face what’s here. whatever happens tomorrow you will face then, but here is the only thing that isn’t beyond you.

also don’t be so worried about the definition of your ‘entire life’ .. like no one moment day experience or even like legacy defines your entire life… it’s just doesn’t. realizing each moment no matter how easy or not is just that .. one small moment it makes everything less scary. because then when you get up you aren’t here making any one decision that’s defining or even threatening your whole life, just a moment that has a small impact on your next one.

also, knowing that in the grand scheme nothing is really that deep. it can be. we can make it deep if we want to, and that can be a beautiful way to transmute pain in life, but know you don’t have to choose deep if you don’t want to.

another thing i’ve learned or maybe just gained more awareness of is discerning what parts of life are served by logic and which are served by intuition. there are parts of life that have nothing to do with intuition, creativity, or emotion. but there are also things in life that are not served by logic, reason, structure, discipline. some examples of this are spirit, the creative mind, intuition guided decision.. when i think about places in my life where these things breathe easily i think about .. anything guided by emotion, learning, observations of fear and that sort of thing.

i think listening to intuition is the higher calling we are feeling that breathes through what we find in passions and life direction in the 3d. i personally think self discovery or growth in a life path sense can only feel honest and genuine to one’s self if guided by intuition.

on the other hand, logic and reason also have there place in reality. there are things we undeniably need. health, physical safety, housing, education.. a lot that is needed as the basis of being a human being but then more as a modern person. additionally, logic determines the undeniable rules of reality. our body is a good example of this. you cannot eat only cookies daily and will yourself to lean out.. because your body is not programmed like that. it’s a computer. if you want it to type something you have to press the keys in the right order, no emotion needed. in fact, trying to invoke emotion into something as tactile and logically simple as our bodies is like crying when you want your computer to type the word apple even though you are physically typing banana. like? babe cmon.

also, it is not a good idea to let your 3d be determined by emotion in the immediate sense. only because anything 3d can only be built or revealed through 3d— ie physicality, something in and of itself that is devoid of emotion. but.. the direction of your life path, the energy you carry with you, past the surface level momentary things… what you believe your purpose is.. these things can only be felt intuitively. logic cannot make sense of a spiritual or energetic inner feeling.

anyways, that continual discernment is something i have become more aware of. seeing where life needs one line of thinking vs another.

maturing is realizing that your energy and attention are the currency. choose what is in your life. choose what you want to believe, focus on, create, and embody. choose. & not just on the surface.. but also as a person.. choose what you stand for, & ask yourself constantly if you are fully choosing ‘this’ or being passive..

there’s a quote that says choose a path or providence will bestow one on you. yes yes and yes. if you are passive, if you do not acknowledge your own preference. your own choice, what you really actually want, providence will bestow one on you. and you will (most likely) find yourself resistant or unhappy… because what it gave you you never chose.

In a life with infinite possibilities and limited time, energy, and attention.. why would you settle for something or allow something subpar to occupy you? why?

we are here alive for a moment in time. it would be an absolute disgrace and disrespect .. to yourself, to God, to whatever you believe your purpose or source is… to occupy that precious resource with things (mindsets, people, places, experiences) you do not actually want, believe in, resonate with. our gift (i think) and the gift we were given being born and created in this life was our consciousness.. our discernment.. our unique capability to think and choose. we have this amazing power to choose and create anything! so don’t expend and waste your energy and attention in places you don’t actually want to take root.

you need to look past momentary surface level pleasures and see what you want deeper… on all levels. on every level of your being.

of course you are entitled to live and experience life how you see fit, I just know for myself… I know this is a gift. my time here is a blessing. my capability and capacity to expand and evolve infinitely is a privilege. and I will not be wasting it on anything less then what is possible!! which is literally anything! I think .. don’t be impatient.. dont be forceful in your pursuit of what you actually want.. across the board. haste makes waste. the best things in life are ones steadily built or slowly uncovered!

I think the ability to continue on .. patiently .. persistently … and not ‘settle’ half way on the road with only a partial version of what you want .. thats the kind of resilience and faith that carries you to your desired end. especially in a world that is addicted to quick fixes and instant dopamine. and I think it’s beautiful because this is mirrored in all the areas of my life.. physically and otherwise. and it’s not to say that quick dopamine is inherently bad.. but if you let it infect your mind body and spirit.. i think it can be disastrous. because everything in life that you actually (probably) want needs to be built well and slowly.

maturing is … observing your fears but listening to your intuition, then trusting it, making a decision, and then releasing any doubt.

the past is gone. all I can do is act, think, and live logically in accordance with my values in the now … and listen to the quiet pull of my intuition (&not the loud grip of my fear or anxiety)

i think for me intuition in mind and spirit feels like a quiet return to something familiar even though you haven’t physically encountered it before .. it almost feels like sensing an essence of your truth but in the world you haven’t experienced yet.

i trust my intuition. i trust my instincts. i trust myself. my task for myself is feeling my intuition and trusting it … but to draw awareness to when my ‘intuition’ is actually fear. I think a discerning difference is .. fear is loud and frantic and sits deep in your stomach. but intuition is a quiet awareness that feels like this calm knowing without words .. a knowing about what your truth really believes. about what feels like you.

I think my intuition in many many ways has kept me on my path and my authentic evolution and return to Self .. but with physically stepping outside my comfort zone I have also encountered my subconscious dual response of fear. I think we are asked to encounter new challenges on a journey to the Self because they test our ‘fear vs intuition’ discernment.

and typically our initial response to challenges outside of our comfort zone is one of subconscious and human fear (i think because we are human we have this biological response to new challenges or new ‘threats’), but I think I’m learning that that’s okay.. it’s a lot to ask of yourself to never be afraid or let any subconscious trauma affect your decisions outside of your comfort zone (in the first time you encounter them that is) but that’s why evolution invokes learning. that’s what allows us to act in intuition more easily.. it’s after we observe and learn how our rooted fear has affected our decision making in a way that is inauthentic.

I think at the heart of this, it’s that a human evolution in spirit means we will always be uncovering how our subconscious and rooted fear, anxiety, and trauma is keeping us from doing and living in intuition.. in our true flow, and in service to our highest truest selves.

and also that I think that’s what an infinite evolution of self is … spirituality and otherwise, its about staying in tune with spiritual intuition in a world and existence where you are human, and you have human emotion.

maturing is … realizing that you don’t need to be 100% sure or inherently passionate about something to do it or to try it out.

people seem to think that passion comes first, or absolute devotion to something comes first— like you were either “built with it/for it” or you weren’t. but in my (limited) experience.. even a little curiosity and then some faith to do/try something messily and shakily comes first .. thennn as you keep it up, learning and trying at it (giving it an honest to goodness fair shot) you slowly gain wisdom and get better.. then honestly before you know it the momentum of growth becomes easier and easier and you seem to find yourself becoming more and more devoted to learning and growing in something. it’s pretty cool! like passion is actually (in many cases) actually a side affect of a little bit of perpetual curiosity & bravery to step into the unknown, and something you find develops within you as you become more involved in something.. not the other way around.

new little segment thingy!!!!!

maturing is … realizing (most) negative receptions from others are a reflection of their inner world. not you.

maturing is … continuously broadening your mind body and soul through exploring a diverse array of expressive outlets and interests (so ur brain doesn’t get stale girl) new genres of reading, art, physical pursuits, spirituality.. all of it. we were not meant to take wisdom from only one place!!!!!

maturing is … realizing that understanding the rules of nature are inherent to living in flow.. i mean this in the sense of.. whatever nature has ordained to be the natural cause and effect of something is right and is teaching you how to live in flow. like that growth happens over time, we have different seasons, we grow through difficulty.. I really believe that all of nature just mirrors the journey to ourselves and teaches us how to live in flow.

maturing is … not resigning to any fixed minded notion of anything (spirituality, knowledge, understanding) .. maturing is being a forever student.

maturing is … giving things a real real go. like actually stepping outside your comfort zone and actually experiencing something in uncharted territories (being able to let go of what you already know and have experienced in favor of new things)

maturing is … realizing that to actually be your self, explore what you want to explore.. you HAVE to let go of the idea of what people close to you have of you. often times the process of continuously becoming ourselves and continuously growing in our authenticity feels most resistant because of what people who are already close to us think, like our family or current friends. when you are being yourself .. you actually seem to resonate most with complete strangers that you meet on your journey.