it’s crazy how music just transports me
i can see and feel very distinct moments in time
it’s really beautiful
stop carrying emotion into the equation when you access physique. it’s not about good or bad, internally and externally, our bodies only ever keep an even score.. one based in forever unchanging fundamental rules and completely unbiased cause and response. people you see who have objectively ‘good’ physiques, are directing attention on the doing. on the being. attention wise, it’s not (always) about making choices that make you look like that, it’s about focusing on the now so much so that the future (which arrives as the now) ends up just being revelation of what you are doing in the now. stop wasting energy concerning yourself with what is past, and with what will be. once you release the past and future you free your present .. which is where all of creating, being, learning takes place. those people you see with good physiques are undoubtedly and totally consumed in the now. and bodybuilding has especially taught me this. because no matter where you are .. far from your ideal or currently have your ideal… you still keep living. you still are creating and manifesting your near future. living with the mentality that everything is a means to an end is in total denial with the perpetual continuation of your now. I do what I need to do today to set me up for tomorrow, beyond that.. I don’t overly concern myself with tomorrow. that’s beyond me. I have what’s in front of me right now, I have what I can see, touch, hold, and do now. everything else is beyond me.
maturing is realizing that your energy and attention are the currency. choose what is in your life. choose what you want to believe, focus on, create, and embody. choose. & not just on the surface.. but also as a person.. choose what you stand for, & ask yourself constantly if you are fully choosing ‘this’ or being passive..
there’s a quote that says choose a path or providence will bestow one on you. yes yes and yes. if you are passive, if you do not acknowledge your own preference. your own choice, what you really actually want, providence will bestow one on you. and you will (most likely) find yourself resistant or unhappy… because what it gave you you never chose.
In a life with infinite possibilities and limited time, energy, and attention.. why would you settle for something or allow something subpar to occupy you? why?
we are here alive for a moment in time. it would be an absolute disgrace and disrespect .. to yourself, to God, to whatever you believe your purpose or source is… to occupy that precious resource with things (mindsets, people, places, experiences) you do not actually want, believe in, resonate with. our gift (i think) and the gift we were given being born and created in this life was our consciousness.. our discernment.. our unique capability to think and choose. we have this amazing power to choose and create anything! so don’t expend and waste your energy and attention in places you don’t actually want to take root.
you need to look past momentary surface level pleasures and see what you want deeper… on all levels. on every level of your being.
of course you are entitled to live and experience life how you see fit, I just know for myself… I know this is a gift. my time here is a blessing. my capability and capacity to expand and evolve infinitely is a privilege. and I will not be wasting it on anything less then what is possible!! which is literally anything! I think .. don’t be impatient.. dont be forceful in your pursuit of what you actually want.. across the board. haste makes waste. the best things in life are ones steadily built or slowly uncovered!
I think the ability to continue on .. patiently .. persistently … and not ‘settle’ half way on the road with only a partial version of what you want .. thats the kind of resilience and faith that carries you to your desired end. especially in a world that is addicted to quick fixes and instant dopamine. and I think it’s beautiful because this is mirrored in all the areas of my life.. physically and otherwise. and it’s not to say that quick dopamine is inherently bad.. but if you let it infect your mind body and spirit.. i think it can be disastrous. because everything in life that you actually (probably) want needs to be built well and slowly.
maturing is … observing your fears but listening to your intuition, then trusting it, making a decision, and then releasing any doubt.
the past is gone. all I can do is act, think, and live logically in accordance with my values in the now … and listen to the quiet pull of my intuition (¬ the loud grip of my fear or anxiety)
i think for me intuition in mind and spirit feels like a quiet return to something familiar even though you haven’t physically encountered it before .. it almost feels like sensing an essence of your truth but in the world you haven’t experienced yet.
i trust my intuition. i trust my instincts. i trust myself. my task for myself is feeling my intuition and trusting it … but to draw awareness to when my ‘intuition’ is actually fear. I think a discerning difference is .. fear is loud and frantic and sits deep in your stomach. but intuition is a quiet awareness that feels like this calm knowing without words .. a knowing about what your truth really believes. about what feels like you.
I think my intuition in many many ways has kept me on my path and my authentic evolution and return to Self .. but with physically stepping outside my comfort zone I have also encountered my subconscious dual response of fear. I think we are asked to encounter new challenges on a journey to the Self because they test our ‘fear vs intuition’ discernment.
and typically our initial response to challenges outside of our comfort zone is one of subconscious and human fear (i think because we are human we have this biological response to new challenges or new ‘threats’), but I think I’m learning that that’s okay.. it’s a lot to ask of yourself to never be afraid or let any subconscious trauma affect your decisions outside of your comfort zone (in the first time you encounter them that is) but that’s why evolution invokes learning. that’s what allows us to act in intuition more easily.. it’s after we observe and learn how our rooted fear has affected our decision making in a way that is inauthentic.
I think at the heart of this, it’s that a human evolution in spirit means we will always be uncovering how our subconscious and rooted fear, anxiety, and trauma is keeping us from doing and living in intuition.. in our true flow, and in service to our highest truest selves.
and also that I think that’s what an infinite evolution of self is … spirituality and otherwise, its about staying in tune with spiritual intuition in a world and existence where you are human, and you have human emotion.
maturing is … realizing that you don’t need to be 100% sure or inherently passionate about something to do it or to try it out.
people seem to think that passion comes first, or absolute devotion to something comes first— like you were either “built with it/for it” or you weren’t. but in my (limited) experience.. even a little curiosity and then some faith to do/try something messily and shakily comes first .. thennn as you keep it up, learning and trying at it (giving it an honest to goodness fair shot) you slowly gain wisdom and get better.. then honestly before you know it the momentum of growth becomes easier and easier and you seem to find yourself becoming more and more devoted to learning and growing in something. it’s pretty cool! like passion is actually (in many cases) actually a side affect of a little bit of perpetual curiosity & bravery to step into the unknown, and something you find develops within you as you become more involved in something.. not the other way around.
guys this isn’t new info but please go do all the little things u want rn:) when I spend my little day alone moseying around outside, making myself a little meal, collaging, reading at the beach, tidying my room !!! and adding to my blog!!! ah!!! man life is full! fill it with things u love! it’s like a authenticity and fulfillment refuel process for us.. doing the little things i love all over the board makes me feel so me!!! and we genuinely just feel the best when we feel in touch with us
new little segment thingy!!!!!
maturing is … realizing (most) negative receptions from others are a reflection of their inner world. not you.
maturing is … continuously broadening your mind body and soul through exploring a diverse array of expressive outlets and interests (so ur brain doesn’t get stale girl) new genres of reading, art, physical pursuits, spirituality.. all of it. we were not meant to take wisdom from only one place!!!!!
maturing is … realizing that understanding the rules of nature are inherent to living in flow.. i mean this in the sense of.. whatever nature has ordained to be the natural cause and effect of something is right and is teaching you how to live in flow. like that growth happens over time, we have different seasons, we grow through difficulty.. I really believe that all of nature just mirrors the journey to ourselves and teaches us how to live in flow.
maturing is … not resigning to any fixed minded notion of anything (spirituality, knowledge, understanding) .. maturing is being a forever student.
maturing is … giving things a real real go. like actually stepping outside your comfort zone and actually experiencing something in uncharted territories (being able to let go of what you already know and have experienced in favor of new things)
maturing is … realizing that to actually be your self, explore what you want to explore.. you HAVE to let go of the idea of what people close to you have of you. often times the process of continuously becoming ourselves and continuously growing in our authenticity feels most resistant because of what people who are already close to us think, like our family or current friends. when you are being yourself .. you actually seem to resonate most with complete strangers that you meet on your journey.
today my legs still worked and i could still breath and see and eat good food and i have a safe home and loving family and so many things to be grateful for and even though life situations might be ass sometimes i’m still alive and being and learning and there is so much going right all the time :)))) 🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻🤍🤍
and even when things feel not the best that still doesn’t mean it’s bad. and i will absolutely without a doubt find and see and experience everything im looking for in this life. I am patient. I know everything I am seeking is seeking me just as much. and I wont let experiences that hurt me or humbled me or hallowed me to make me bitter. or closed.
discernment. thank you every experience and person and moment for giving me more. more discernment, more awareness.. about who I am as a person, what I am looking for, what I stand for. what I really want. and that I’ll never let any number of shitty experiences make me cruel. or bitter. or mean. every time I experience something new I gain so much wisdom. and it is shitty sometimes. cause when you step outside your comfort zone and experience something new yes you inevitably run into an uncomfortable kind of situation you have never been in and need to sort out. it’s ok though. it can feel so icky and anxious but in hindsight there is a beauty in encountering these kinds of situations… because at least it’s something new. at least you know more about life and yourself and other people and yk what it’s okay because that’s wisdom gained regardless of how things turned out. you’re still here you’re still moving and growing. and the good that’s coming is better then this. it is.
and I will continue to walk with the open heart I have. more discerningly .. but open nonetheless. and I will never stop learning!!! evolving!!! being!!!!! I wish you the best. all of you. I do. I hope you are all happy. I hope all of you find your peace. I hope everything works out for you exactly how you want 🙂
i also want to say how adorable people are. we all want to be seen and appreciated and understood and loved! at that deep level! and so much of the silliness of meeting new people and building new connections is that all of these surface level things and anxieties or past traumas create all of these layers that seem to keep all of us from connecting with each other easily. and i think the beauty in meeting new people and growing in friendships or other relationships is with those deep conversations or how the passage of time lets you peel back the layers on who people are, how they tick.. and you just get to see who someone really is. it’s lovely! and wholesome. to see people as they are and appreciate them like that. i love you people! and i forgive you.
please please let people be wrong about you or misunderstand or doubt what your cable of. honestly just free yourself. just let them. just let everyone think whatever.. we waste so much energy trying to prove to other people what we are when that perception is inconsequential compared to the perception we have of our selves. only we know what we have done. what we have been through. what something means to us. what other people think they see is only ever going to be limited and subjective. so don’t take any of it as truth. it will always be a biased perception because only we know our selves at that level. instead, focus on you. on how you have evolved. on what you are building. what you have built. literally at all things we do, who we are .. how we live, how we think.. everything speaks for itself in a way that can never be truly explained, it just is. you know it, I know it, and other people eventually realize it as it is slowly revealed more and more over time.
In every single new echelon of evolution I step into or am growing through there are literally always people who maintain a limited perspective of you. like it does not matter what you step into or how far you think you have come, you deal with the same things over and over at new levels.. accept it. release it. let it be. let them be. the fight to upkeep ego, perception, all that shit.. it only takes your energy. just be. relax. be yourself. focus on you. let who you are.. who you really are speak for itself through the way you live the way you speak & the way you grow over time.
there is truly no loss when you exist to give freely… love, kindness, benefit of the doubt, understanding, sympathy.
don’t close your fists and make up things to fight. !!
palms and fingers wide wide open and realize you have an infinite amount of love and kindness to give others. we experience this life together. we are all here learning together. let us all exist in a frequency of open heartedness and unconditional understanding and compassion. 🙂 and give freely.!
everyone deserves to be treated with love .. truly. everyone deserves your kindness, and I know that I have more then enough to give 🤍 for others and myself. and it will never run out!!!
loss implies scarcity. but there is nothing to lose when you give something for free 🙂
I have love in spades. I have kindness in spades. I have unconditional understanding, sympathy, and compassion in spades. What I give to others I give freely!!! the world can do what it wants with the love I give but I will give it anyways because I love you! you all!! humans! people! the earth! I see all of you and I love all of you! and I love you so much that I don’t mind if you don’t receive my love:) I will love you anyways!!! <3